everything looks different soaked in water.
the trees are a quieter green, the air is a thicker white, the ground undulates more than unusual. and the last part is what gets me. on your average arid day, the sea of concrete is unstrikingly placid, transfiguring between parking lots and interstates. all fades away behind the restlessness of our endless days.
but when it rains, more than precipitation falls from the heavens. this cool peace seems to slow everything down as constrained heat within the sidewalks escape upwards.
life slows down.
we learn to breathe and glance within.
as the puddles begin to accumulate into masses, i realize that this ocean of asphalt isn't so flat anymore as i see a plethora of new ponds everywhere i turn. things aren't what i thought they were. and this is how see myself now, as the proverbial rains of life have filled the cracks within my heart, transforming this seemingly level heart. i can see myself more clearly now, thanks to the rain. assumptions removed, who i am, faults and flaws, comes into view.
thank you, rain.
Sunday, October 7
Saturday, October 6
homeless van newsletter
i wrote this for a class, figured i'd post it here too...
--
This was my first time reading the Home Van Newsletter, and I throughly enjoyed it as it challenged how I view homelessness a little bit more. It's so good to get shaken up and forced to think critically about what you believe, whether it be about God, homelessness or the President.
Arupa brings up an interesting point as she describes this dream that she has where she was comfortable and warm inside her bed, and peering into her windows are the faces of the homeless that she works with, which segues into a discussion of Carl Gustav Jung. Jung wrote about the 'shadow self', a mental construct of everything about ourselves that we don't want to deal with or confront, and how we tend to disassociate ourselves with those whom we see our shadow self in. We reject them, demoralize them, despise them because they represent the 'ugly us'.
I find this fascinating, most probably due to two contrasting views of homelessness I, and maybe most of us, have. On one hand, I see the reaction some people have to homelessness, where they stereotype them into lethargic, hopeless, languid, drunk caricatures. These people tend to seldom offer the helping hand because they see that they are just looking to get by today, and not trying to fix any long-term problems. On the other hand, there are those who faithfully serve at the shelters and homeless councils, who have personal friendships with some of these guys, and truly care for them. I feel that most of us battle with these two conflicting viewpoints, and sometimes the former takes control.
One of the largest hurdles to clear in Gainesville's attempt to defeat homelessness is social acceptability. It seems like everyone loves the idea of organizations and institutions being all philanthropic to help them out, but no one wants it in their back yard. No one wants this one-stop homeless shelter near their home or business, but they want the problem solved. It's always fascinated me that few ever want to be a part of the solution, and I mean in deeper way than giving Chair, Nixon or any other homeless dude $5 so he can go buy "food", which we all know is a lie so they can buy beer. We see the shadow self in some of these homeless, and it scares us. Sure, I think we say that the guy pushing the shopping cart full of trash bags down 2nd Ave is sketch, but what I think is even more scarry is that we see part of ourselves in those needy eyes. We don't consciously realize it, but it's there.
So this may be the reason homelessness hasn't been ameliorated for all these years, because politicians and bureaucrats don't want to admit that they are just like those sleeping under cardboard. 'The Dirty' are just as hopeless, just as angry, just as selfish, just as jealous as the Senator on his private jet coming back from a formal dinner with the President, it's just that the senator has a few more materialistic masks to hide behind. Until we can level with ourselves on this issue of commonality with the socially despised, it seems our driving motivation for a solution to homelessness is derived more from obligation than undefiled compassion. I'm still leveling with myself, I'm no different from the rest.
--
This was my first time reading the Home Van Newsletter, and I throughly enjoyed it as it challenged how I view homelessness a little bit more. It's so good to get shaken up and forced to think critically about what you believe, whether it be about God, homelessness or the President.
Arupa brings up an interesting point as she describes this dream that she has where she was comfortable and warm inside her bed, and peering into her windows are the faces of the homeless that she works with, which segues into a discussion of Carl Gustav Jung. Jung wrote about the 'shadow self', a mental construct of everything about ourselves that we don't want to deal with or confront, and how we tend to disassociate ourselves with those whom we see our shadow self in. We reject them, demoralize them, despise them because they represent the 'ugly us'.
I find this fascinating, most probably due to two contrasting views of homelessness I, and maybe most of us, have. On one hand, I see the reaction some people have to homelessness, where they stereotype them into lethargic, hopeless, languid, drunk caricatures. These people tend to seldom offer the helping hand because they see that they are just looking to get by today, and not trying to fix any long-term problems. On the other hand, there are those who faithfully serve at the shelters and homeless councils, who have personal friendships with some of these guys, and truly care for them. I feel that most of us battle with these two conflicting viewpoints, and sometimes the former takes control.
One of the largest hurdles to clear in Gainesville's attempt to defeat homelessness is social acceptability. It seems like everyone loves the idea of organizations and institutions being all philanthropic to help them out, but no one wants it in their back yard. No one wants this one-stop homeless shelter near their home or business, but they want the problem solved. It's always fascinated me that few ever want to be a part of the solution, and I mean in deeper way than giving Chair, Nixon or any other homeless dude $5 so he can go buy "food", which we all know is a lie so they can buy beer. We see the shadow self in some of these homeless, and it scares us. Sure, I think we say that the guy pushing the shopping cart full of trash bags down 2nd Ave is sketch, but what I think is even more scarry is that we see part of ourselves in those needy eyes. We don't consciously realize it, but it's there.
So this may be the reason homelessness hasn't been ameliorated for all these years, because politicians and bureaucrats don't want to admit that they are just like those sleeping under cardboard. 'The Dirty' are just as hopeless, just as angry, just as selfish, just as jealous as the Senator on his private jet coming back from a formal dinner with the President, it's just that the senator has a few more materialistic masks to hide behind. Until we can level with ourselves on this issue of commonality with the socially despised, it seems our driving motivation for a solution to homelessness is derived more from obligation than undefiled compassion. I'm still leveling with myself, I'm no different from the rest.
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