I wanted to post something I've been thinking about for the majority of the day today, well after my mind was sated with the glorious candied yams. Ever since I appeared on this earth twenty-two years ago, Black Friday has always been know as the "largest shopping day of the year". If I remember correctly, we as Americans spent $7 Billion on Black Friday in 2007.
$7,000,000,000!
That's an absurd amount of money. And the thing that I can't figure out is what are they buying? Local network news stations around the country will be reporting from their local Best Buy and Wal-Mart in four hours to interview the ravaged shopper who denied himself thirds on the turkey to get in line early to pick up their new LCD TV. Perhaps it's just the hype surrounding it, perhaps it's the culture, but are the deals really that good? I perused some sites of the big stores to see what their Black Friday deals were, and I was hardly impressed at all. It seems that the internet has changed the way people shop and many of the "deals" touted can readily be picked up during the other 364 days of the year on any number of websites.
So what is it that's driving sales to incomprehensible levels on one particular day of the year? Are a majority of Americans genuinely uninformed when it comes to online shopping? Are a majority of Americans utilizing this culture of consumption to justify their expenses on this one day of the year? I'm not sure what it is. What do you think? What sociological reasons could there be to make sense of all of this?
Friday, November 28
Thursday, November 27
Lincoln’s 1863 Thanksgiving Proclamation
Taken from Crossway's Blog
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Taken from the collection of Lincoln’s papers in the Library of America series, Vol. II, pp. 520-521.
The year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battlefield; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.
No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.
—Abraham Lincoln
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Taken from the collection of Lincoln’s papers in the Library of America series, Vol. II, pp. 520-521.
The year that is drawing towards its close has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence have not arrested the plough, the shuttle, or the ship; the axe had enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battlefield; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom.
No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to his tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union.
—Abraham Lincoln
Monday, October 20
NC State, Raleigh, North Carolina
After waking up at 0400 to catch our flight, we land at Raleigh-Durham to find that our time on campus will coincide with Justice For All, a pro-life awareness project run by Christians. Due to their central location in the free-speech zone, we didn't have many other options to distance ourselves from the exhibit, so the topic of abortion did not take long to arise. I have already been struggling with and praying through patience to deal with the exorbitant folly exhibited by some of these hecklers. With the added influence of the JFA exhibit, it just grew to be even more disgusting. Comments abounded such as "hey nigga, why don't you just kill it then ask for forgiveness?" forgive them Lord, they know not what they do.
After Obama proclaimed that FOCA would be a priority for him, this has become incredibly imperative, not to mention the worldwide efforts to provide this "right". With two weeks left in this marathon election, polls are coming up showing Obama's gap is closing. I deeply believe this election could become one of the most decisive of our generation, not just because it's Obama, but because that would leave 2/3 of our governmental trinity under Democratic rule, not to mention the several Justice positions that could open up in the future. Leaving Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and President Barack Obama unchecked is a dangerous place to be in. Yes, the Lord is sovereign, He will reign, I'm just wondering how much closer that will be after November 4th.
After Obama proclaimed that FOCA would be a priority for him, this has become incredibly imperative, not to mention the worldwide efforts to provide this "right". With two weeks left in this marathon election, polls are coming up showing Obama's gap is closing. I deeply believe this election could become one of the most decisive of our generation, not just because it's Obama, but because that would leave 2/3 of our governmental trinity under Democratic rule, not to mention the several Justice positions that could open up in the future. Leaving Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and President Barack Obama unchecked is a dangerous place to be in. Yes, the Lord is sovereign, He will reign, I'm just wondering how much closer that will be after November 4th.
Tuesday, October 7
Columbus State Community College, Columbus, OH: Day 1
i need to preface this by stating that monday was spent at ohio state all by myself, preaching solo, trying to get a crowd. for some reason i felt i had absolutely nothing to say, coming up with nothing to preach on and having a very hard time getting anything resembling decent interaction with the students. as the day progressed and i continually processed the days events, i wound up feeling discouraged to a certain degree, thoughts of complete deficiency overcame me as twilight arrived. the roof over our porch proved to be a much needed location of discussion and prayer with tim as we worked through my frustrations and fears.
this morning i woke up in anxiety, the first thoughts of the day swamped with doubts of abilities and the fear of men. as i progressed through breakfast, showering and time with the Lord, i became overwhelmingly desperate for His intervention, constantly dwelling on the fact that if He doesn't show up today, i fail. show up He did.
right from the get-go, within sixty seconds perhaps, there was a student probing me on whether or not he would go to hell for being gay. people immediately gathered, the crowd began to get louder and louder. as things began to build, one black student stepped out and kept circling me in silence (as if somehow that would deter me from my mission) and ignored my requests to back off and show respect. at some point someone asked me my political affiliation to which my response set off this circling mocker. he went absolutely livid, screaming, literally, about how i'm voting for four more years of bush, how we are in a recession and increasing the tension in the crowd by ten fold. once this mocker was a few sentences into his spiel, the crowd swelled to easily 150 souls, the largest i have ever been in front of before! i couldn't believe what i saw! at first they laughed at this mocker but i gave him just enough slack to hang himself with for within a few more minutes, the rest of the black students turned on him, shouting at him to back down because he's making a fool out of the rest of the black students. it's always a pleasure to see a heckler eaten publicly by his own kind. he left.
i continued to preach as loud as i could without screaming, in which we kept at it for about two hours total! this by far was my largest and longest time ever! sure, there were plenty of mistakes i made, some i am still thinking over and need to discuss with tom on the phone tonight, but all in all i am incredibly thankful for how the Lord showed up, how His name was proclaimed and even the chance to exhort the nearby saints to think of themselves as just that, saints, not sinners. one heckler recorded a large portion of today on his camera, i'm waiting for that video in which i will post on facebook! tomorrow is another day at columbus state, may i approach it with the same level of desperation and eagerness to see Him show up again.
there is no life like the one truly lost, we find it where we pick up our cross.
this morning i woke up in anxiety, the first thoughts of the day swamped with doubts of abilities and the fear of men. as i progressed through breakfast, showering and time with the Lord, i became overwhelmingly desperate for His intervention, constantly dwelling on the fact that if He doesn't show up today, i fail. show up He did.
right from the get-go, within sixty seconds perhaps, there was a student probing me on whether or not he would go to hell for being gay. people immediately gathered, the crowd began to get louder and louder. as things began to build, one black student stepped out and kept circling me in silence (as if somehow that would deter me from my mission) and ignored my requests to back off and show respect. at some point someone asked me my political affiliation to which my response set off this circling mocker. he went absolutely livid, screaming, literally, about how i'm voting for four more years of bush, how we are in a recession and increasing the tension in the crowd by ten fold. once this mocker was a few sentences into his spiel, the crowd swelled to easily 150 souls, the largest i have ever been in front of before! i couldn't believe what i saw! at first they laughed at this mocker but i gave him just enough slack to hang himself with for within a few more minutes, the rest of the black students turned on him, shouting at him to back down because he's making a fool out of the rest of the black students. it's always a pleasure to see a heckler eaten publicly by his own kind. he left.
i continued to preach as loud as i could without screaming, in which we kept at it for about two hours total! this by far was my largest and longest time ever! sure, there were plenty of mistakes i made, some i am still thinking over and need to discuss with tom on the phone tonight, but all in all i am incredibly thankful for how the Lord showed up, how His name was proclaimed and even the chance to exhort the nearby saints to think of themselves as just that, saints, not sinners. one heckler recorded a large portion of today on his camera, i'm waiting for that video in which i will post on facebook! tomorrow is another day at columbus state, may i approach it with the same level of desperation and eagerness to see Him show up again.
there is no life like the one truly lost, we find it where we pick up our cross.
Sunday, October 5
carpe diem can be so cliche...
...but what other phrase do i have which encapsulates this understanding any more clearly? frank & pam apisa are church planters in turino, italy, who are on required gcm furlow for three months here in the states. visiting columbus, they held a luncheon after sunday service to share about what the Lord has been doing there over the past few years and what He has in store in the future, which as it turns out is another church plant in italy, this time milano. for the gc regulars, this is nothing crazy out of the norm, albeit it is exciting nonetheless, but something struck me today. frank mentioned that he is turning sixty years old very soon.
practically three of my lifetimes thus far.
that's a long time, a really long time. not that frank is a dinosaur by any means, for he sure is vivacious and full of the Spirit but during those years, he has been involved with the start-up of my home church at the university of florida, planting the church in tampa, fl, as well as planting turino and now milano. on the drive home it struck me how incredibly young i am, at twenty-two years of age; it struck me, more than ever before, how much of my life i still have before me. oh the time that is left to lay eternal bricks in the Kingdom! this just stirs my soul, to think of where Jesus and I could wind up in ten, twenty-five, or fifty years from now.
sure He could come back soon, but i kinda really don't want that to happen just yet. as much as i would love to see Him return in all of His glory and fire, i would rather see more and more souls come before His throne of grace before this chapter is done. didn't paul have this same tension?
"if i am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. yet which i shall choose i cannot tell. i am hard pressed between the two. my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. but to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. convinced of this, i know that i will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith..." -phil. 1:22-25 (esv)
to a certain degree, paul is saying some things i am not, as well as i'm saying some things that paul is not. but in the words of rick whitney, "your life is a coin, you can only spend it once". Lord willing, i could have a solid forty to fifty years ahead of me. think of all the possibilities with forty years to spend?! we could plant churches at uga in athens, ga, um in miami, portland, reykjavik, manchester, edinburgh, marseilles, brussels, coppenhagen, the possibilities surpass endless.
is there anything worth holding onto in light of all of this? roth ira's? stability? marriage? there is so much to be gained for Him, if only i "sacrifice" my rights, in which i truly have none when all is said and done so that my sacrifice is no sacrifice at all, just a deeper realization that He owe me nothing, absolutely nothing, not even the next intake of oxygen into my lungs.
thank you Lord for that last breath.
practically three of my lifetimes thus far.
that's a long time, a really long time. not that frank is a dinosaur by any means, for he sure is vivacious and full of the Spirit but during those years, he has been involved with the start-up of my home church at the university of florida, planting the church in tampa, fl, as well as planting turino and now milano. on the drive home it struck me how incredibly young i am, at twenty-two years of age; it struck me, more than ever before, how much of my life i still have before me. oh the time that is left to lay eternal bricks in the Kingdom! this just stirs my soul, to think of where Jesus and I could wind up in ten, twenty-five, or fifty years from now.
sure He could come back soon, but i kinda really don't want that to happen just yet. as much as i would love to see Him return in all of His glory and fire, i would rather see more and more souls come before His throne of grace before this chapter is done. didn't paul have this same tension?
"if i am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. yet which i shall choose i cannot tell. i am hard pressed between the two. my desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. but to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. convinced of this, i know that i will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith..." -phil. 1:22-25 (esv)
to a certain degree, paul is saying some things i am not, as well as i'm saying some things that paul is not. but in the words of rick whitney, "your life is a coin, you can only spend it once". Lord willing, i could have a solid forty to fifty years ahead of me. think of all the possibilities with forty years to spend?! we could plant churches at uga in athens, ga, um in miami, portland, reykjavik, manchester, edinburgh, marseilles, brussels, coppenhagen, the possibilities surpass endless.
is there anything worth holding onto in light of all of this? roth ira's? stability? marriage? there is so much to be gained for Him, if only i "sacrifice" my rights, in which i truly have none when all is said and done so that my sacrifice is no sacrifice at all, just a deeper realization that He owe me nothing, absolutely nothing, not even the next intake of oxygen into my lungs.
thank you Lord for that last breath.
Wednesday, September 24
University of Nebraska-Lincoln: Day 1
from the outside, today seemed to be just the same as every other day preaching this semester, but for me, i perceived something noticeably different. we are at the university of nebraska this week, omaha monday and today, lincoln campus tuesday and thursday. so today at the lincoln campus, we had the usual hecklers with the usual arguments with the usual “i eat christians for breakfast” attitudes. nothing too exciting.
throughout the course of the day, though, i had some interesting conversations. one with a self-proclaimed “militant atheist” who indignantly stated that he hated me due to my faith, how lovely. another who kept interjecting with “you believe” after every claim that i made, how obnoxious. but two conversations that struck me in a positively were with two christian girls, the first was mallory. earlier, she approached tom in the middle of a fantastic discussion he was having with a group of inquisitive, she had an honest question about his methods, but unfortunately it came across with that “do you really think Jesus would be doing this” demeanor. sensing confusion on her part, i went over to clarify things and chat with her. a few minutes into our conversation she began to weep as she explained that she was so burdened for the lost and so thankful that tom’s preaching was done in an effective manner. we exchanged contact information and prayed together before she left with a huge smile on her face. about half and hour later, another young girl, amber, walked up to me asking if i knew tom, and began to repeat the exact same thing mallory had said earlier. as she went on about how thankful she was for tom’s preaching, her eyes became soft as tears of joy came down her cheeks.
in both of these interactions, it struck me how deeply these two yearned for Him to be proclaimed on their campus, apparently something that isn’t done too often here in nebraska. to see their level of appreciation, to the point of tears, i have a deepened sense of honor and privilege knowing how valuable our message is. to think that the Lord of Israel has left us with such a weighty and holy responsibility is quite humbling, yet how emboldening to grasp the power of our Assistance in the Holy Spirit. the Lord is moving on these campuses, in a mighty way. on monday, rory whitney, rick’s brother, was continually pointing out people in the omaha crowd who were saved within the last year through tom’s preaching. person after person heard what tom had to say on campus which triggered a series of events leading to the beginning of their regeneration. i honestly couldn’t believe what he was telling me, i had no idea that the Lord had been working that much. and people say open-air preaching is out of date.
throughout the course of the day, though, i had some interesting conversations. one with a self-proclaimed “militant atheist” who indignantly stated that he hated me due to my faith, how lovely. another who kept interjecting with “you believe” after every claim that i made, how obnoxious. but two conversations that struck me in a positively were with two christian girls, the first was mallory. earlier, she approached tom in the middle of a fantastic discussion he was having with a group of inquisitive, she had an honest question about his methods, but unfortunately it came across with that “do you really think Jesus would be doing this” demeanor. sensing confusion on her part, i went over to clarify things and chat with her. a few minutes into our conversation she began to weep as she explained that she was so burdened for the lost and so thankful that tom’s preaching was done in an effective manner. we exchanged contact information and prayed together before she left with a huge smile on her face. about half and hour later, another young girl, amber, walked up to me asking if i knew tom, and began to repeat the exact same thing mallory had said earlier. as she went on about how thankful she was for tom’s preaching, her eyes became soft as tears of joy came down her cheeks.
in both of these interactions, it struck me how deeply these two yearned for Him to be proclaimed on their campus, apparently something that isn’t done too often here in nebraska. to see their level of appreciation, to the point of tears, i have a deepened sense of honor and privilege knowing how valuable our message is. to think that the Lord of Israel has left us with such a weighty and holy responsibility is quite humbling, yet how emboldening to grasp the power of our Assistance in the Holy Spirit. the Lord is moving on these campuses, in a mighty way. on monday, rory whitney, rick’s brother, was continually pointing out people in the omaha crowd who were saved within the last year through tom’s preaching. person after person heard what tom had to say on campus which triggered a series of events leading to the beginning of their regeneration. i honestly couldn’t believe what he was telling me, i had no idea that the Lord had been working that much. and people say open-air preaching is out of date.
Thursday, September 4
University of North Dakota, Grand Forks, ND: Day 1
Well, today was really our second day there, but that is because we found no action at University of Minnesota Crookston (school of 1600!), so we headed back to UND without a permit. So our fall tour officially began...
It only took five to six minutes of preaching for the GLBTQ group to show up with three rainbow flags, making a silent protest right in between Tom and the building crowd. This only served to play into our hand more as a hot-headed liberal student began to scream at Tom about how he's spewing hatred, discrimination and judgment against the "gay agenda." Keep in mind, during those five to six minutes of preaching, Tom never, NOT ONCE, brought up the issue or made it a point to even mention homosexuality. They came out looking for a fight, in which Tom engaged appropriately and respectfully as always, never flippantly throwing out outlandish statements about their lifestyle. As the debate developed, it always amuses me how people stand in Tom's face, scream til their veins surge about how he's always yelling at people, never letting them finish their statements and being so judgmental. They continually fail to see how well they exhibit those accusations in their own actions. Well, maybe "amuse" isn't the right word, it breaks my heart. People are so incredibly held captive of their sin, they can't see around it, over it, under it or through it, they are completely blind. One kid was jumping around like a four-year-old, screaming some completely unintellectual banter about Lord knows what. My heart reacted in ways that I had forgotten. I'm not as compassionate as I once thought.
In the first half of the afternoon, I found myself becoming very angry and frustrated at the lost out there arguing. That's not good. It kept getting worse and worse as I saw their blindness, their degraded and defiled consciences, their sly remarks and "witty" comments, or so they thought as they look to their friends for approval and laughter. At one point I had to walk away to pray and think, so I went to where any man would, the restroom. I sat in there a bit, attempting to analyze my frustration, discern if the anger is towards them or their sin and have a good ol time on the porcelain throne. I found that my anger and emotions had abated as I walked back to the debate, which brought some degree of elation. I'm still processing that anger.
I was able to share the Gospel with a religion t.a., Adam, who was incredibly prideful and arrogant, I've never heard such blasphemous statements before. For someone to respond to the "what would you say to get into heaven?" question with "I would ask God for my forgiveness, for dictating us and demanding perfection the way He does, He neeeds my forgiveness" takes an incredible amount of selfishness and arrogance. When we had to wrap up our conversation, I was going to ask him if that's his decision and if he wanted to pray with me and tell God that himself, but Adam jetted too fast. It's one thing for people to say, "yeah, I know the truth, but I'm going to completely ignore Him and continue to blow Him off" to me, but it's a whole other issue to say that to God directly. I'm going to use that a lot more, Tom told us that some people aren't bold enough to do it and actually come to repentance!
There's so much to write, so much I'm already discovering in our first trip about my own heart and my own desires, but I'll save that for my Moleskine. I love you all and miss you, but I got to tell you, it's pretty dang exciting being out here as well! I'll be occasionally throwing up pics on twitpic and facebook, the mid-west is a completely different world!
It only took five to six minutes of preaching for the GLBTQ group to show up with three rainbow flags, making a silent protest right in between Tom and the building crowd. This only served to play into our hand more as a hot-headed liberal student began to scream at Tom about how he's spewing hatred, discrimination and judgment against the "gay agenda." Keep in mind, during those five to six minutes of preaching, Tom never, NOT ONCE, brought up the issue or made it a point to even mention homosexuality. They came out looking for a fight, in which Tom engaged appropriately and respectfully as always, never flippantly throwing out outlandish statements about their lifestyle. As the debate developed, it always amuses me how people stand in Tom's face, scream til their veins surge about how he's always yelling at people, never letting them finish their statements and being so judgmental. They continually fail to see how well they exhibit those accusations in their own actions. Well, maybe "amuse" isn't the right word, it breaks my heart. People are so incredibly held captive of their sin, they can't see around it, over it, under it or through it, they are completely blind. One kid was jumping around like a four-year-old, screaming some completely unintellectual banter about Lord knows what. My heart reacted in ways that I had forgotten. I'm not as compassionate as I once thought.
In the first half of the afternoon, I found myself becoming very angry and frustrated at the lost out there arguing. That's not good. It kept getting worse and worse as I saw their blindness, their degraded and defiled consciences, their sly remarks and "witty" comments, or so they thought as they look to their friends for approval and laughter. At one point I had to walk away to pray and think, so I went to where any man would, the restroom. I sat in there a bit, attempting to analyze my frustration, discern if the anger is towards them or their sin and have a good ol time on the porcelain throne. I found that my anger and emotions had abated as I walked back to the debate, which brought some degree of elation. I'm still processing that anger.
I was able to share the Gospel with a religion t.a., Adam, who was incredibly prideful and arrogant, I've never heard such blasphemous statements before. For someone to respond to the "what would you say to get into heaven?" question with "I would ask God for my forgiveness, for dictating us and demanding perfection the way He does, He neeeds my forgiveness" takes an incredible amount of selfishness and arrogance. When we had to wrap up our conversation, I was going to ask him if that's his decision and if he wanted to pray with me and tell God that himself, but Adam jetted too fast. It's one thing for people to say, "yeah, I know the truth, but I'm going to completely ignore Him and continue to blow Him off" to me, but it's a whole other issue to say that to God directly. I'm going to use that a lot more, Tom told us that some people aren't bold enough to do it and actually come to repentance!
There's so much to write, so much I'm already discovering in our first trip about my own heart and my own desires, but I'll save that for my Moleskine. I love you all and miss you, but I got to tell you, it's pretty dang exciting being out here as well! I'll be occasionally throwing up pics on twitpic and facebook, the mid-west is a completely different world!
Tuesday, May 27
"that sounds cliche" sounds so cliche...
the facebook mini feed is a good thing, there are a few people on there whose blog posts i constantly enjoy. rachel is one of them, this chick loves jesus like woah, her posts are simplistic and beautiful. we are also in the same boat, for the most part, trying to figure out what to do with our lives after graduation. in her last post, she gave some food for thought:
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"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139:13-16
Most of you know those verses pretty well...as do I...so...why do we find it so hard to make those verses alive in our hearts?
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that last part kinda got me. as i was reading those verses, the one thought in my head was, "ok, great, some of the most overused verses there are, so cliche rachel..." consequentially, that last statement struck me. i'm in this anti-christianity phase right now, a phase that actually i'm quite enjoying. by no means am i anti-Christ (oh gosh that sounds bad) but i am anti-christian culture. well, not "anti-" like i hate or despise it, but "anti-" like it humors in the way christians do certain things. for example, Reno 911! had an episode with this traveling revivalist, complete with a crimson polyester leisure suit and feathered hair that even i couldn't attain, he was in the prison with three choir members, trying to save people (in his power) and cast out demons of the inmates. it was so over the top, i had no other response but pure laughter. it's these kinds of things that i thoroughly enjoy, it's not Christ that is the basis of the jokes, but the ridiculous things His followers do at times that humor me. this is somewhat of a tangent...
anyways, i feel that in the christian culture, there are these verses that we use all the time, and quite honestly, to me, they become so cliche and sucked out of their power. not that the Scriptures are dry by any means, but just like rachel said, it becomes so hard to make these verses come alive in our hearts. some Scriptures for example:
James 1:2-8; Phillippians 1:6 and Matthew 6:25-34. despite this problem, which is a serious one, it has forced me to seek the Scriptures in a new light. i have been coming across these gems of Scripture, sections that have never been at the forefront of my mind ever, Scriptures that have gently redefined my perspective of Christ and His atoning work in my life, especially His propitiation and expiation. some Scriptures that have been sticking to my ribs lately have been:
"For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory." -2 Corinthians 1:20
"Two things I ask of you;
deny them not to me before I die:
Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
give me neither poverty nor riches;
feed me with the food that is needful for me,
lest I be full and deny you
and say, "Who is the LORD?"
or lest I be poor and steal
and profane the name of my God." -Proverbs 30:7-9
i really think Proverbs 30 is going to be my campsite for a bit, there were some other sections of that chapter which hit me hard. it's so incredible how you can dig and dig and never come to the bottom of the riches of Scripture. no man has ever exhausted the Scriptures, they are forever stated yet eternally malleable. so in conclusion, this problem of finding certain Scriptures cliche has been a blessing and a curse, i don't want to nullify the common or popular Scriptures of their power. but i do want to deviate from christianity, i want to find the gems and bring them to light for myself and my Brothers and Sisters, allowing greater intimacy and affinity for the work of the Cross.
-------------------
"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
"For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, Your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be." -Psalm 139:13-16
Most of you know those verses pretty well...as do I...so...why do we find it so hard to make those verses alive in our hearts?
-------------------
that last part kinda got me. as i was reading those verses, the one thought in my head was, "ok, great, some of the most overused verses there are, so cliche rachel..." consequentially, that last statement struck me. i'm in this anti-christianity phase right now, a phase that actually i'm quite enjoying. by no means am i anti-Christ (oh gosh that sounds bad) but i am anti-christian culture. well, not "anti-" like i hate or despise it, but "anti-" like it humors in the way christians do certain things. for example, Reno 911! had an episode with this traveling revivalist, complete with a crimson polyester leisure suit and feathered hair that even i couldn't attain, he was in the prison with three choir members, trying to save people (in his power) and cast out demons of the inmates. it was so over the top, i had no other response but pure laughter. it's these kinds of things that i thoroughly enjoy, it's not Christ that is the basis of the jokes, but the ridiculous things His followers do at times that humor me. this is somewhat of a tangent...
anyways, i feel that in the christian culture, there are these verses that we use all the time, and quite honestly, to me, they become so cliche and sucked out of their power. not that the Scriptures are dry by any means, but just like rachel said, it becomes so hard to make these verses come alive in our hearts. some Scriptures for example:
James 1:2-8; Phillippians 1:6 and Matthew 6:25-34. despite this problem, which is a serious one, it has forced me to seek the Scriptures in a new light. i have been coming across these gems of Scripture, sections that have never been at the forefront of my mind ever, Scriptures that have gently redefined my perspective of Christ and His atoning work in my life, especially His propitiation and expiation. some Scriptures that have been sticking to my ribs lately have been:
"For all the promises of God find their Yes in Him. That is why it is through Him that we utter our Amen to God for His glory." -2 Corinthians 1:20
"Two things I ask of you;
deny them not to me before I die:
Remove far from me falsehood and lying;
give me neither poverty nor riches;
feed me with the food that is needful for me,
lest I be full and deny you
and say, "Who is the LORD?"
or lest I be poor and steal
and profane the name of my God." -Proverbs 30:7-9
i really think Proverbs 30 is going to be my campsite for a bit, there were some other sections of that chapter which hit me hard. it's so incredible how you can dig and dig and never come to the bottom of the riches of Scripture. no man has ever exhausted the Scriptures, they are forever stated yet eternally malleable. so in conclusion, this problem of finding certain Scriptures cliche has been a blessing and a curse, i don't want to nullify the common or popular Scriptures of their power. but i do want to deviate from christianity, i want to find the gems and bring them to light for myself and my Brothers and Sisters, allowing greater intimacy and affinity for the work of the Cross.
Friday, May 23
(a)foot in the fault.
"the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can know it?" -jeremiah 17:9
assuredness is a dirty thief. emotions serve nothing but chilled deception. my life is far too dictated by my heart, why must particles other than truth pass through this filter? truth is paramount.
truth precipitates into the very essence of His existence.
my own emotions seem to serve me absolutely no purpose, they lie to me, trick me into placing my faith into faultier surfaces than what's on His lips. i am fully responsible for this mistake, i take complete responsibility for this misappropriation.
my eyes are too blind.
my ears are too deaf.
my fingers are too numb.
this current vessel is far too incapable of experiencing the Eternal. i need a new body.
in light of You, my palms kiss the open air. i am left with nothing.
i shall bring You a mirror, i could never show You anything as perfect as You.
assuredness is a dirty thief. emotions serve nothing but chilled deception. my life is far too dictated by my heart, why must particles other than truth pass through this filter? truth is paramount.
truth precipitates into the very essence of His existence.
my own emotions seem to serve me absolutely no purpose, they lie to me, trick me into placing my faith into faultier surfaces than what's on His lips. i am fully responsible for this mistake, i take complete responsibility for this misappropriation.
my eyes are too blind.
my ears are too deaf.
my fingers are too numb.
this current vessel is far too incapable of experiencing the Eternal. i need a new body.
in light of You, my palms kiss the open air. i am left with nothing.
i shall bring You a mirror, i could never show You anything as perfect as You.
Monday, May 19
to be commissioned.
falling more in love with the pastors at mars hill, i listened to a teaching on our individual callings in this grand scheme of Kingdom work.
this is so not about me, my role in the Kingdom. of course, it does deal with me, but i feel that i am failing to see the picture from a much, much, much larger perspective. do i realized that we're dealing with eternity here? do i understand the breadth of that statement?
of course not.
one thing i never realized was that i am the product of someone else's calling, i am the fruit of His leading. how amazing is that? the Lord led certain people into my mother and my lives and here we are ten years later, soundly saved, full of Grace and Truth. now i have the privilege of discovering that fruit for myself, replicating the cycle over and over again. think about it, you (if you have repented and put faith in Christ) and i are direct descendants of Christ's evangelical effort, His blood flows right through the years to my heart, covering my sin. that surpasses any amount of eloquently scribed words.
so in this season of discerning and waiting for my "commissioning", as it were, not my "calling", a refocusing of my role and position in this Kingdom is required. whether my commissioning be to go with tom short and preach like nobody's business, or start my career with primerica or go to into the navy, i am very, very small in this play. i cannot disrupt His will, it is metaphysically impossible, which is one of the most liberating thoughts. my life has been laid before His throne of grace before the foundations of this world were ever laid, this illusion of choice provides nothing but unnecessary fear.
i am Controlled.
i am Safe.
this is so not about me, my role in the Kingdom. of course, it does deal with me, but i feel that i am failing to see the picture from a much, much, much larger perspective. do i realized that we're dealing with eternity here? do i understand the breadth of that statement?
of course not.
one thing i never realized was that i am the product of someone else's calling, i am the fruit of His leading. how amazing is that? the Lord led certain people into my mother and my lives and here we are ten years later, soundly saved, full of Grace and Truth. now i have the privilege of discovering that fruit for myself, replicating the cycle over and over again. think about it, you (if you have repented and put faith in Christ) and i are direct descendants of Christ's evangelical effort, His blood flows right through the years to my heart, covering my sin. that surpasses any amount of eloquently scribed words.
so in this season of discerning and waiting for my "commissioning", as it were, not my "calling", a refocusing of my role and position in this Kingdom is required. whether my commissioning be to go with tom short and preach like nobody's business, or start my career with primerica or go to into the navy, i am very, very small in this play. i cannot disrupt His will, it is metaphysically impossible, which is one of the most liberating thoughts. my life has been laid before His throne of grace before the foundations of this world were ever laid, this illusion of choice provides nothing but unnecessary fear.
i am Controlled.
i am Safe.
Tuesday, May 6
ten thousand heads of radio.
i failed to realize how excited i was until it had already started. five years in the making.
an enclave of white tubing, chromatically illuminated by lasers, surrounded the entire stage.
raging blocks of red, flowing seas filled the amphitheater to the brim through those ubiquitous poles. it was enveloping.
radiohead played their most quintessential songs: optimistic (hanson's just isn't the same...), street spirit, bulletproof, everything in it's right place, nation anthem...only the best.
He surprised me though, He showed up. not that He wasn't there, i just hadn't expected Him to show Himself in that forum. with the undulating timbre came this overwhelming sense of ethereal connectivity, that somehow i was brought to this oh-so-intimate place of praise through the most unassuming of mediums. christian and i discussed this lightly on the trip up to west palm, how the Creator is discovered through the creativity endowed to man, proclaiming His truth through beauty and elegance. He became so clear through the band's tones, the sheer levels of texture, vivacity, depth: the kind of depth which longs for metaphysical interactions with the notes themselves. all of this culminated into one unorthodox venue to perceive one's Holy One; how He majestically appears according to His own Metronome.
an enclave of white tubing, chromatically illuminated by lasers, surrounded the entire stage.
raging blocks of red, flowing seas filled the amphitheater to the brim through those ubiquitous poles. it was enveloping.
radiohead played their most quintessential songs: optimistic (hanson's just isn't the same...), street spirit, bulletproof, everything in it's right place, nation anthem...only the best.
He surprised me though, He showed up. not that He wasn't there, i just hadn't expected Him to show Himself in that forum. with the undulating timbre came this overwhelming sense of ethereal connectivity, that somehow i was brought to this oh-so-intimate place of praise through the most unassuming of mediums. christian and i discussed this lightly on the trip up to west palm, how the Creator is discovered through the creativity endowed to man, proclaiming His truth through beauty and elegance. He became so clear through the band's tones, the sheer levels of texture, vivacity, depth: the kind of depth which longs for metaphysical interactions with the notes themselves. all of this culminated into one unorthodox venue to perceive one's Holy One; how He majestically appears according to His own Metronome.
Saturday, April 26
festival of horns...
things have changed. i have a girlfriend. i can't believe it.
it's hard. it's stretching. it's so good.
i've never needed the Lord more than in these past four weeks, seeing my own depravity is such a beautiful thing, for He is always closer than once thought. He's nudging, pushing, yearning for me to come into the deeper parts.
my response is necessitated in a Genesis 22 fashion. this is good. He is good.
regardless of my investment, my maturity (whatever miniscule level it has become), or my systems, the festival of horns is not guaranteed.
it's hard. it's stretching. it's so good.
i've never needed the Lord more than in these past four weeks, seeing my own depravity is such a beautiful thing, for He is always closer than once thought. He's nudging, pushing, yearning for me to come into the deeper parts.
my response is necessitated in a Genesis 22 fashion. this is good. He is good.
regardless of my investment, my maturity (whatever miniscule level it has become), or my systems, the festival of horns is not guaranteed.
Tuesday, April 1
solitary
it's 0127 and i'm sitting outside of library west looking out across the plaza.
not a soul anywhere...
no cars.
no krishnas.
no slackliners.
no buses.
no sorority girls.
no noise, sans sprinklers.
no motion.
i could get used to this.
wait, a guy literally just walked up, pulled out a flashlight and started rummaging through the recycling bin. now he's going through the trash can. he doesn't look homeless, maybe he's collecting bottle caps or something. random.
i take this stillness, this slow-motion film, for granted far too often. a systematic life, confined by calendars and one-hour blocks of time, has decayed the perceptions of a moment without momentum.
the serpentine puddle of water creeps ominously near.
what is the root of this yielding of time, this allowance of unredeemable moments for something so far inferior to what could be grasped? where does the seed sprout from? to overlook the miraculous reproduction of cells right before our very eyes, even in this scenery of stillness, what a tragedy.
how easily i could conform my perceptions of my Deity into this finite aperture, allowing only a truncated stance based upon the monotony of this american life. yet there is so much to be held, to be felt, to be assimilated within my own fallible heart, a heart of gross misconceptions concerning the metaphysical Truth.
i desire this to be played in slow motion, this american life, as how the sheets of rain waltz across the march skies, how the curtains of Grace billow in His laughter.
i need a slow motion heart.
not a soul anywhere...
no cars.
no krishnas.
no slackliners.
no buses.
no sorority girls.
no noise, sans sprinklers.
no motion.
i could get used to this.
wait, a guy literally just walked up, pulled out a flashlight and started rummaging through the recycling bin. now he's going through the trash can. he doesn't look homeless, maybe he's collecting bottle caps or something. random.
i take this stillness, this slow-motion film, for granted far too often. a systematic life, confined by calendars and one-hour blocks of time, has decayed the perceptions of a moment without momentum.
the serpentine puddle of water creeps ominously near.
what is the root of this yielding of time, this allowance of unredeemable moments for something so far inferior to what could be grasped? where does the seed sprout from? to overlook the miraculous reproduction of cells right before our very eyes, even in this scenery of stillness, what a tragedy.
how easily i could conform my perceptions of my Deity into this finite aperture, allowing only a truncated stance based upon the monotony of this american life. yet there is so much to be held, to be felt, to be assimilated within my own fallible heart, a heart of gross misconceptions concerning the metaphysical Truth.
i desire this to be played in slow motion, this american life, as how the sheets of rain waltz across the march skies, how the curtains of Grace billow in His laughter.
i need a slow motion heart.
Tuesday, March 4
a piece for fyc 4212...
a piece that i wrote for my contemporary youth problems course...
---
How do I describe myself? I could describe myself by what I do, but still, that’s not too terribly accurate, is it? My identity, at its most fundamentally communicable form, is my character. It is the element within me which defines my actions and interactions with others around me. I believe that one of the deepest aspects of character that I hold on to is truth and from that, honesty. Truth is knowable, it is not some abstract, relativistic concept varying for each person, but rather we can know what right and wrong is and more importantly, the source of truth. Honesty, the outward assimilation of truth, is so crucial to our civilization that without it we wouldn’t have government, science or social order. These two are probably vastly more important than I even realize.
I’m just like most other people, I enjoy lacrosse, cycling and appreciate really good food, I mean really good. I love to sleep, but not more than eight hours and I can’t stand watching TV cause all of the sensory inputs make me go crazy. Stephen Colbert makes me seriously consider the seriously detrimental seriousness in our society, while Barack Obama gives me some kind of urge to put hope back into this country’s politics. I’m no more American than the next guy, everyone can’t believe that my mum is from England. I’m an Apple guy to the core, PC’s remind me too much of 1984. Yet, in all these things, these are not who I am. Even with my parents divorcing in 2003, probably one of the most monumental turning points in my life, this does not define me as a person. I’m much more than that, we all are. Yet too often, the perception of ourselves becomes so myopic that all that is left is a conclusion from the calendars and PDA’s which direct our lives. We were destined for so much more, but we lost that so long ago thanks to that one piece of fruit.
---
How do I describe myself? I could describe myself by what I do, but still, that’s not too terribly accurate, is it? My identity, at its most fundamentally communicable form, is my character. It is the element within me which defines my actions and interactions with others around me. I believe that one of the deepest aspects of character that I hold on to is truth and from that, honesty. Truth is knowable, it is not some abstract, relativistic concept varying for each person, but rather we can know what right and wrong is and more importantly, the source of truth. Honesty, the outward assimilation of truth, is so crucial to our civilization that without it we wouldn’t have government, science or social order. These two are probably vastly more important than I even realize.
I’m just like most other people, I enjoy lacrosse, cycling and appreciate really good food, I mean really good. I love to sleep, but not more than eight hours and I can’t stand watching TV cause all of the sensory inputs make me go crazy. Stephen Colbert makes me seriously consider the seriously detrimental seriousness in our society, while Barack Obama gives me some kind of urge to put hope back into this country’s politics. I’m no more American than the next guy, everyone can’t believe that my mum is from England. I’m an Apple guy to the core, PC’s remind me too much of 1984. Yet, in all these things, these are not who I am. Even with my parents divorcing in 2003, probably one of the most monumental turning points in my life, this does not define me as a person. I’m much more than that, we all are. Yet too often, the perception of ourselves becomes so myopic that all that is left is a conclusion from the calendars and PDA’s which direct our lives. We were destined for so much more, but we lost that so long ago thanks to that one piece of fruit.
Monday, March 3
antiquity
waiting for my sheets to dry at one a.m., i write.
it came to me recently that there are facets of the Way that i am bypassing, or removed from at least, through the course of my life. the hymnist continually discourses on the peace of Christ, a concept that, for some reason, has been failing to be grasped within my mind. this idea of Christ being the all encompassing provision of tranquility never seemed to resonate with me completely, perhaps i was out of the rhythm of the Spirit. it just seemed that i couldn't secure for myself a morsel which was laid right before me.
oh, but how this rapidly changes once we more completely grasp the regenerative work of the Cross. i can't believe that it slipped past me, but how meager my perception of the destination of my faith. o the purest of joy to see my marred name in the Lamb's Book! to see the power of His might restore this most broken of vases, to glory in the fact that He hath chosen me among the lepers, to receive the humblest of gifts from the humblest of Hands. through simplicity, herein lies the fullness of God, the very down-pouring of heavenly heat, searing all sin to its deepest of graves. everything is for the Gospel. what loss to drift from such a treasure.
all the fitness that He requireth is that you feel your need of Him.
it came to me recently that there are facets of the Way that i am bypassing, or removed from at least, through the course of my life. the hymnist continually discourses on the peace of Christ, a concept that, for some reason, has been failing to be grasped within my mind. this idea of Christ being the all encompassing provision of tranquility never seemed to resonate with me completely, perhaps i was out of the rhythm of the Spirit. it just seemed that i couldn't secure for myself a morsel which was laid right before me.
oh, but how this rapidly changes once we more completely grasp the regenerative work of the Cross. i can't believe that it slipped past me, but how meager my perception of the destination of my faith. o the purest of joy to see my marred name in the Lamb's Book! to see the power of His might restore this most broken of vases, to glory in the fact that He hath chosen me among the lepers, to receive the humblest of gifts from the humblest of Hands. through simplicity, herein lies the fullness of God, the very down-pouring of heavenly heat, searing all sin to its deepest of graves. everything is for the Gospel. what loss to drift from such a treasure.
all the fitness that He requireth is that you feel your need of Him.
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