my college career is 75% complete.
that scares the crap out of me.
what am i going to do? where am i going to go? what is my dad going to say?
i went cycling around campus at midnight tonight, enjoying the stillness, the lights, the wind ruffling my hair. this place means so much to me, more than this blog, or the human voice, could express. God has taken my hand, taken my heart, and done what He wants, most of the time, showing me a life that i didn't realize existed.
this campus brings to life everything in me. it's not the campus itself, it's the tears, the scars, the laughs of a friend: the kind you know have your hand, regardless. the lunches, the all-night shifts at work, the gospel sharing, the sum of a life that was lived without many regrets, at least in this turning of my life.
i still have another year, only the Lord knows what it will bring, and that is a lot of time. in this bittersweet morsel of a memory, i will relish in the times of joy and pain, of exuberance and gut-wrenching tears, of faith and fear. i will live this last year with everything i have, not in the what-if?'s of yesteryear, but in the what-next?'s of now. we have one shot at this, one shot to make it all count, one shot to live this life with full expectation of the life to come. i pray that all of this is a disconnection from this world, for it let's us live for heaven all the more. makes heaven that much sweeter. jesus, please don't allow me to wallow in the nostalgia of memories, but may we leap to see your face all the more, to see your Kingdom reign on this creation. in the vastness of 'I AM', we know nothing of you. may you reveal your heart every day through your church. may we live for the what-next?'s right around the corner.
1/4 left. what will we make of it?
Saturday, April 28
little miss sunshine
i've never quite experienced a movie that makes me laugh, cry and get pissed off all in the same sitting, not like this movie. i've had a long stretch of bad movies, and this was quite the change of winds! the grandpa pissed me off for how spineless he is, the big brother makes me cry because of how much he reminds me of my little brother, matt, and there are plenty of laughs throughout. the soundtrack is to die for, and the editing brought out the most brilliant colors.
Thursday, April 19
out of sight...
...out of mind
don't get me wrong, what happened on monday at VT was absolutely horrific and i never wish this kind of pain and weeping on any family, on any person. facebook has been plastered with groups for remembrance, vigils and prayer meetings have been held, people are hurting and people are responding to that pain. it's amazing to see the unity of this nation when something like this happens, it's a blessing i constantly take for granted. but there is a war going on, there are mass murders every day and yesterday 171 people perished instantly in baghdad by a car full of explosives parked in the center of an intersection. gone. never to see the light of day again. one person even reported seeing a severed head on the roof of a car after the explosion.
why are we not holding prayer meetings and candlelight vigils for them? why aren't we interceding more for them? would we differentiate our sorrow and mourning based on where a person lives or where they are born? let's not forget darfur. let's not forget uganda. china. north korea. venezuela. iraq.
i don't have all the answers, i don't know what to do. but when we let 171 perish without a second thought, without doing something about it, without having a prayer meeting for them, what does that say? are we going to let our ignorant flesh give a passing thought of sorrow then go on our merry way?
i'm not ignorant to what we are trying to do here; i just received a flyer for purchasing a 'stop the war' t-shirt on campus. people do care. i just don't understand why we pay so much attention to stateside issues compared to what is going on across the pond. i just don't understand human nature.
don't get me wrong, what happened on monday at VT was absolutely horrific and i never wish this kind of pain and weeping on any family, on any person. facebook has been plastered with groups for remembrance, vigils and prayer meetings have been held, people are hurting and people are responding to that pain. it's amazing to see the unity of this nation when something like this happens, it's a blessing i constantly take for granted. but there is a war going on, there are mass murders every day and yesterday 171 people perished instantly in baghdad by a car full of explosives parked in the center of an intersection. gone. never to see the light of day again. one person even reported seeing a severed head on the roof of a car after the explosion.
why are we not holding prayer meetings and candlelight vigils for them? why aren't we interceding more for them? would we differentiate our sorrow and mourning based on where a person lives or where they are born? let's not forget darfur. let's not forget uganda. china. north korea. venezuela. iraq.
i don't have all the answers, i don't know what to do. but when we let 171 perish without a second thought, without doing something about it, without having a prayer meeting for them, what does that say? are we going to let our ignorant flesh give a passing thought of sorrow then go on our merry way?
i'm not ignorant to what we are trying to do here; i just received a flyer for purchasing a 'stop the war' t-shirt on campus. people do care. i just don't understand why we pay so much attention to stateside issues compared to what is going on across the pond. i just don't understand human nature.
Tuesday, April 17
bleach
black guys trying to be white.
white guys trying to be black.
it makes me laugh how what we are never seems to be what we can accept.
white guys trying to be black.
it makes me laugh how what we are never seems to be what we can accept.
Tuesday, April 10
cet
the weather here in gainesville has been very european lately.
i love it.
it reminds me of days at my nana's house playing in the garden with the warm green grass between my toes, playing with my little brother or cousins, hearing the distant high-pitched feedback of my nana's hearing aid. wearing goloshes when it's spring time, because i can.
wasn't being a kid the best thing?
why do we remember so little of it?
why can't our brains pack more of those caramel memories into timeless suitcases, airtight?
are we only living a dream?
are these clouds going to fly away?
only if more are to come to keep these suitcases airtight. what i have left at least.
i love it.
it reminds me of days at my nana's house playing in the garden with the warm green grass between my toes, playing with my little brother or cousins, hearing the distant high-pitched feedback of my nana's hearing aid. wearing goloshes when it's spring time, because i can.
wasn't being a kid the best thing?
why do we remember so little of it?
why can't our brains pack more of those caramel memories into timeless suitcases, airtight?
are we only living a dream?
are these clouds going to fly away?
only if more are to come to keep these suitcases airtight. what i have left at least.
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