lightness

today was somewhat frustrating, and i am quite glad it is over. i am being blamed, by the kids mind you, for doing things that i never did, things that could get me on the naughty list with the parents or maybe fired. it's just so frustrating! i guess i need to be even more laissez faire with the kids, i need to cover my bases. harumph...

on an upnote, youth group was great tonight, they even let me mix the worship which was a treat. i truly miss doing that at GCL, it always made me seem like a little boy again, discovering a new world over the fence.

"writers write" my dad always says. that is something that has been calling my heart as of late. i've been itching to write, not sure what, just put something down and stretch those cold metatarsals. i miss the simplicity of short poetry, and i would enjoy doing a piece in the style of Pettigrew.

my faith seems to be becoming something deeper within my flesh. i say that somewhat hesitantly because it would seem obvious that such a beautiful, developing object be completely consumed within it's beholder. yet, my faith is taking new turns in how it affects my thought processes and the 'what-if's' become nominalized with maturity. it's funny how the weight of anger is lifted once the pressurized words are released into the night sky. i took a walk tonight after matt and i left the movie's early, frustrated at something that i assumed was God's fault. and all the words that i think i need to say seem to dissipate as they float off my tongue, loosing their urgency to the sound of the busy street across the lake. anger and selfishness are all in vain when confronted with the one who's Hands hold the ferocity of the Universe, keeping all life under His thumb. may i squeeze into a wrinkle of that palm as i wrestle and rest with the fact that despite my longing to find a heavy handed tongue in the night sky, He has all my deepest questions answered before the thought hits my deepest synapse.