CRAP!

Dang it, late for work again!!!! I went to bed about midnight, with my alarm set for 5:30, you know, do that whole Christian thing Jesus-style. I don't really remember falling asleep, i just remember waking up to the sound of the bus driving by, and the first words coming out of my mouth "CRAAAPP!!!!". It was 7:10am, I had to be at work negative 10 minuets ago. When you're >10 min. late to work, thats a major violation, 3 majors and they review you. So, yeah, that was my third. CRAAAAP!!!! Oh well. I got ready extrememly fast...extremely, and I was just asking God to teach me what I'm supposed to learn out of this situation. For a while I was thinking He doesn't want me to have this job, but I need this job to be a church-planter. Well, that's a very narrowminded statement to make. He can provide in other ways, but this was the first and best opprotunity at the time. Plus I didn't feel convicted about not doing it, and was at peace about the idea.

There was frost on the ground this morning! It was so cool! The AC units downstairs had frost all over them as well. I was pretty dang exicted.

So I'm not really sure why God made me late (did He at all? I dunno...) or why He let me be late. I'm a good employee, my boss said so, it's just that I'm so dang busy ALL the time. I worked from 12:30 - 9:30 AM monday morning (YEAH FOR OVERNIGHTS!) then slept for about an hour that afternoon, had a horrible day, then went to bed way too late then woke up way too early, my body didn't like that. People say that I'm going to kill myself, but I HAVE to work these hours, I need to get stuff paid for, especially if I want to be a church planter.

I'm really frustrated that I have little time to spend with my lost buddies. I've met some really cool guys at the rock gym and I've got no extra time to spend with them except the time I set aside for working out. And if I don't work out, my head is going to pop. I ran about a mile yesterday at the gym, incline, and it felt great! Clears out my head a lot, I love it. I just really wish I had more time to go the rock gym and hang out there more. Sarah Luk gives me a bunch of crap about never going, ugh!!!! The Kyles, Eric, and all the other regulars that are always there are some of the coolest people ever. Alan can testify to that. I can't wait for this summer, I'm going to try to spend a lot of my time at the rock gym there so I can do this all over again, meet people and influence them for Christ.

I guess at times I feel like I'm not effective at this whole Great Comission thing. In a sense, the GC doesn't really involve homegroups and raising up leaders, but it does in another sense. I want to win 1 person to Christ this year, that's a thing between God and I. I know it can/will happen, but it's so hard when I don't have any time to plant seeds. My overnight coworker, Michael, is pretty cool, and we talked about Budhism for most of the shfit, cause he's taking a class on it. It was great just to talk about religions, which he's pretty interested in. So hopefully in a few weeks or so, we can segway our conversation into the Gospel. He said he's read a few of the Gospels, but nothing else. We'll see where God leads it. And I need to find my balance of ministry and evangelism. I barely have time to see Tom Short today! I could cry right now.

All these Broken Bottles.

I lost my Bible! It's somewhere in my house, I just have to look for it. Ugh!!! 1 more hour, then off to chem homework and Bible Doctrine. I love our Tuesday meetings, I'm always learning so much! It's hard to have time to read the chapters, but it's worth it. Just told Matt Gordon that I can't do the Romans study this semester, which I was REALLY looking forward to. There just aren't enough hours in the day. I need to get on a regular schedule with my QT's, but it's soo hard with my schedule. If you saw it, you might puke. Just don't do it on your keyboard, it's harder to clean than your pants or carpet. But it's ok. That's a massive thing I've been learning, being ok with the fact that if I don't do a quiet time, it's not the end of the world. Amber blatantly pointed it out yesterday when we were talking. It's my justification. Somehow I've, and I know I'm not the only one, turned my quiet times into a form of justification for my relationship with God. I'm free, Jesus paid for it all, so why do I treat my time with God as a have to? And why do I feel condemned if I don't get it done? Easy. Satan want's us to believe that, he wants us to think that we are less of a Christian if we don't read our Bibles. I had half a mind to not even pick up my Bible for the next few days until I could treat that time as something special, as a have-to. But that probably wouldn't be the smartest move. So I go back to the whole circumspect thing. If I get into that situation, where I didn't read or journal, I need to look around at my life, asking myself in a very Alan Moore-esque tone of voice, "OK, does my world come crashing down because I haven't opened up The Good Book? Does my leadership fail if I missed one? No, that's a dumb (thanks Stacy) way to think. Does God still love me? Of course. He loved me before I loved Him, so why wouldn't He love me now?"

Cheap wine and sleeping pills.

That's what I hate about the Pentecostals/First Assembly thang. I HATE it. You honestly think that if you aren't actively seeking out God when He returns or we die, that your going south for eternity? Hell no! (no pun intended!) I hate that...and a lot of my friends that are Christians in FYCS are First Assembly people. They are amazing people, I just hate how they think that God turns His back on them if things aren't hunky dory. That's effn Mormonism!!!!!!!!!!! I walked to work today and I passed the LDS building by Norman. I look at it and see how there's absolutley no life in it at all. Even Carelton has more life in it, and it's not even a 'church' but its more of a church than any building I've ever been to (take that Joel Osteen).

Lexy was talking to me one day about eccumenicalism, ranting and raving about it. And he got me worked up to. How can we justify building these massive Six Flags Over Jesus buildings, all in the name of God, when we have bigger problems. People will find churches. There's never a lack of churches. Ugh, I'm not going to go into this, my fingers hurt from typing this. Just love Jesus, OK? It's damn easy. In the words of my mold-shattering roommate, "We've got grace, we can do whatever the fuck we want." Oh, I love him...and so does Jesus. Go in peace my brothers....